Can People Change?

Can people change? Or are people stuck in their ways?

Have you ever met someone that was just so annoying, or infuriating, or repulsive in their behavior that you just roll your eyes and think to yourself, “They’ll never learn.” Maybe they’re someone set in their ways, or maybe they’re someone who “just doesn’t get it.”

However, it might be more personal. It might be a close relative, or a spouse, or your child. It might be a pattern of behavior you see that is very harmful for that other person. Perhaps, then, you’re not rolling your eyes anymore. Perhaps you’re asking, “Can they change? I hope so.”

If you are religious, these are the moments you pray to God because you feel powerless to help those that you love. What often happens is that a small change occurs and you have hope! But then people revert back to their old ways and the cycle starts over again and again.

At this point, you might be discouraged. What can one do?

I’ve seen many people in destructive cycles. And it can be disheartening. However, I’ve come to learn something that has proven to be true time and time again. It has helped me become more loving, more patient, more kind. It goes as follows:

“Never Underestimate the Capacity for People to Grow Beyond your Wildest Expectations” -Dr. Eric

I truly mean that. And I’m not just saying it.

Our minds have a great limitation. It doesn’t like change and it prefers to see things as comfortable and the same. We want to believe our morning cup of coffee will be there, our jobs won’t become obsolete, the government won’t collapse tomorrow, etc. We also have a tendency to believe that negative things can and will perpetuate indefinitely into the future. Humanity will always be crazy, there will always be asset bubbles in the market that almost collapse the financial sector, taxes will always go up.

However, the reality is that the world isn’t static, and neither are people. As a Psychiatrist, I’ve seen amazing growth time and time again not just in my patients, but also in friends and family. The growth isn’t easy, but I know that I’ve been surprised more often than not. And when you get surprised a lot, it requires a revision of your world view.

Can people change? Yes. How can they change? Let’s talk about it next week: Hint: it’s about Sacrifice.